Shawland Security: Book 2 (Shawaland Security) Read online

  “Do you want me to get Caleb, because I’m really not the right one to be talking to about emotions and shit. You know this.”

  I smirk. “Well, tough, baby bro. Leave Caleb where he belongs. He and Aria need all the rest they can get with a new baby at home.”

  Chris pulls a seat across from the corner and sits down beside me. “What do you need? Apart from alcohol, because that will only numb whatever you’ve got going on now. You’ll wake up tomorrow feeling just as bad. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

  I study my brother for a few moments. Chris has always been the deep thinker. The one that has a level head. I wish I had that. I wish I could stop overthinking things and just concentrate on the moment, but not knowing how Shay died, or where her body is… Well, that’s a mind fuck. I can’t believe she’s gone without proof, and since the army has called off all searches, we’ll never have that confirmation. She has been left to rot into the earth, and that kills me every damn day.

  “I want what Caleb and Aria have. We’re not getting any younger. I want a family of my own. The woman I love. I want it all. Even the dog and the white picket fence.”

  “And what’s stopping you? You have a good business. You’re a good guy. Not bad looking. You have it all going on.” Chris punches my arm.

  I shrug. “I’ve only ever loved Shay, and I couldn’t even get that right.”

  Chris clears his throat. “There is no right or wrong thing to do when you love someone, Clay. You’ve just got to grieve for Shay. You’ve got to move on, bro, before it buries you too deep. This behavior isn’t healthy. Maybe you need to talk to a grief counsellor or something like that.”

  “Every day, I wake up thinking about Shay. She’s the first person on my mind. How can I move on? It wouldn’t be fair to me or another woman. They would be living in the shadow of a ghost. And that’s the killer part. I don’t know if she’s actually dead. What if she’s out there somewhere, waiting for us to rescue her? Look at what happened to Aria. She was captured for a goddamn year before she got away.”

  “You can’t compare Aria’s case to Shay’s. I doubt we’ll ever come across another case like Aria’s in our lifetime.”

  I nod. I know Chris is right, but I can’t help but think I’m missing something.

  “I think you need to get your head straight. Is she dead? Is she alive? You’re contradicting yourself. One minute you’re set on saying she’s dead, then the next you’re saying she could be alive somewhere. No wonder you’re fucked up over this.”

  I shrug. “I want to believe she is alive, Chris. I have to believe she’ll walk through the door one day.”

  Chris takes in a deep breath. “I don’t think that’s doing you any good. You’ve lived the army life. Do you think she could have survived that warzone? If she did, do you really think the enemy captured her and let her live?”

  I throw my brother a dirty look. I know what he’s saying is the truth, but I don’t want to think about the enemy getting Shay. I know what her fate would be, and it wouldn’t be good. I’d rather she did get blown up, it would be quick and painless.

  “I’m only telling you how I see it.”

  I nod. “I hate feeling like this.”

  The room goes silent for a few moments and I twiddle my thumbs over my desk, anything to try and get out of my thoughts.

  “What do you say we go and get that drink, huh?” asks Chris.

  “Really? You’ve just contradicted yourself, baby bro.”

  Chris sniggers. “Do you want a drink or not? Hurry up, before I change my mind and go home to bed, which is where I should be heading.”

  “You’re getting grumpy in your old age.” I stand up from my desk and rib my brother. Something I’ve always been good at because, let’s face it, I didn’t get the name ‘Joker of the pack’ for no reason.

  “Do I need to remind you that you’re older than me?” Chris follows me out of my office, and I grab my truck keys.

  “You remind me every day. Come on. We need to lighten the fuck up. It’s too serious around these parts lately.”

  And just like that, my deep thinking has passed, and I’m going to do what I do best and try to forget about this overbearing pain in my gut.

  Tomorrow is a new day. A new day to carry on just like I have for the last few months. I grieve, I laugh, and I very nearly self-destruct. But two things I have that not many people have are family and support.

  Chapter 2

  7 months earlier

  Shay

  I scream and bite down on a rag as I flush out my wounds from the burns. I’ve been in constant agony since I woke up in Josh’s arms. I don’t know how long ago that was, and I don’t know how we’re surviving out here in the wild. I don’t think I’ll be able to continue the way I am because the burns are infected, my body is getting weaker, and I’m sweating out more fluids than I can take in. I’m a medic. I know how the body works. I know with deep burns like mine the body needs to be kept hydrated. But, when you’re stuck in the middle of a warzone, in the middle of nowhere, with no supplies, you’ve just got to do the best with what you have. And, right now, that’s nothing. I’m using the water from the small river we’ve found to clean my wounds. Even boiling the water on the small fire Josh has made is making no difference because we’re using an old tin we found lying around. I know there could be anything in the water, but that’s a chance I must take. I need to try and make myself better. I need to get stronger to fight back and find a way to get out of here, and boiling water is the only thing we have.

  “We need to get out of here.” Josh inspects my legs as he drops down beside me.

  Josh has been out trying to find us something to eat from the wild. I know he’s trying to keep our strength up, but I don’t have the guts to tell him I can’t stomach a single thing, never mind something he kills and cooks over a fire. I’m a fussy eater at the best of times. I could never survive out in the wild for long periods of time; it turns my stomach thinking about it. It’s worse than the rubbish MREs we get out in combat. The cold, congealed contents is enough to make me gag.

  “I can’t take this anymore, Josh. We’re never getting out of here,” I sob.

  I was always classed as the Iron Maiden within my squad, because I was the hard-faced bitch. I could stomach anything; wounds, blood and guts, and I didn’t take any nonsense, even from the biggest, maddest guys. Now, here I am, a sniveling wreck, crying into Josh’s shoulder. I’m literally falling apart. There’s only so long before these burns cause blood poisoning and my body shuts down, piece by piece, organ by organ. Animals get put to sleep for less. All I’m doing is suffering, and that suffering leaves lasting memories that won’t fade.

  Having a meltdown in the middle of nowhere is the last thing Josh or I need, but I just can’t control the emotions running through me.

  “You can do this. You will.” He puts his hands on my cheeks and wipes away the falling tears, dirt, and snot. “I promise I’ll get you out of here, Shay. I don’t break my promises.”

  I shake my head. “I’m the medic, Josh. I know what’s happening to my body. You can’t bullshit me. Stop feeding me lies.” I thump his shoulder.

  “There she is. Keep up that fight.” He winks at me. “You need to fight through this. You can scream, yell, and punch me all you like. Just don’t give up hope.”

  “You sound like Clay.” I smile weakly.

  “And he certainly wouldn’t let you give up, so I’ll take that remark and own it.”

  I look around us, taking in everything I can, but I can’t remain positive. Nothing looks familiar and nothing is shouting positivity at me. We’re in the middle of nowhere. We have no supplies. And we have no way of getting help to us. Yeah, I’d say we’re screwed, and we’re just putting off the inevitable. Josh is living in cloud cuckoo land if he thinks we’re getting out of here alive. He must have hit his head harder than I realized because his brain isn’t working.

  A branch snaps behind Josh and he jumps
to his feet. Three men dressed in camouflage gear step out from the trees. Their guns are pointed toward us. I can’t move, even though I want to. I need all the help I can get to get up from the ground. I’m an invalid. A burden. I told Josh to go on without me, but would he listen? Hell no. Now we’re both doomed.

  “Who are you?” asks Josh, holding his hands up to show them we’re no threat.

  Yeah, I mean, we really look like a couple of strong soldiers.

  We’re literally falling apart, we have no weapons, and we’re alone. The U.S Army badges we wear mean nothing right now; we’ve been stripped of our strength and power. In fact, the badges could get us fucking killed.

  The men speak in a language I don’t understand. I doubt Josh knows what they’re saying either. What could be worse than being ill in our position? Being in a country you know very little about.

  “Do you speak English?”

  Another man steps out from the trees and walks over to me. He bends down and inspects my wounds. He’s in the same camouflage clothing, but he’s minus any weapons. He looks relatively normal, or as normal as can be under the circumstances.

  “This woman needs antibiotics.” He speaks in proper English.

  “Who are you?” I ask.

  “I’m your knight in shining armor. We have medical supplies back at our camp. It’s not ideal, but it might just save your life.” He shrugs and looks over at the other guys. “We can deal with everything else once we have her on the mend.”

  “I’m a trained medic. I can take care of my own injuries if I’m given supplies. I don’t want to put anyone out,” I say breathlessly.

  “Good to know. I’m a doctor. My name is Keir.” He smiles at me.

  The other men start shouting at one another in their lingo. I want to scream at them to stop. It’s annoying, I don’t understand a word of it, and it’s hurting my head more.

  “What are they saying?” asks Josh.

  “They’re fighting amongst themselves.” Keir looks over his shoulder and back to us quickly. “Look, this camp isn’t ideal. You’ll see and hear things you don’t want to, but it’s your best chance of survival. They’ll put a bullet through your head if you don’t come with us now.”

  A man walks up behind Keir and hits him in the head. I have a bad feeling about this, but what other choice do we have? We’re running out of options. We stay, we die. We go, we might die anyway. I see no other option.

  Josh bends down in front of me and squeezes my hand. “You need help, Shay. We won’t get this opportunity again. We can get out of any situation if you’re well. Our training will come into good use.”

  I nod, even though my gut is telling me the opposite. I know he’s right. We’re born fighters. I just need medical care and we’ll face the situation head on… together. It’s all we have left of our team, and we need to honor that. We need to do this for them.

  “Okay. Keir, can you help me carry her?”

  Keir and Josh wrap my arms around their shoulders and they both take one of my thighs and lift me from the ground. My thighs aren’t burnt, luckily. It’s just my lower legs. The pain shoots from my toes to my head. I don’t know which part of my body hurts more.

  “How far away is the camp?” asks Josh. “She’s getting weaker by the second.”

  The men walking behind us hit Josh, pushing him forward. I’m guessing that’s to shut him up. They clearly don’t like people talking any language other than the one they speak, and even though they understand basic English, they refuse to use it. Ignorance at its finest.

  Keir leans into me and whispers, “Just go with us. It’s not far. I’ll do all I can to heal you.”

  If I thought getting blown up was the hardest thing I’d faced, I have a funny feeling this next phase is going to be worse.

  ***

  We’ve walked for what feels like hours. My body is getting weaker. Weak to the point that I’m not even feeling pain anymore. My head feels like it’s floating, and it isn’t a pleasant feeling at all. I don’t even feel in control of my body. If it wasn’t for Josh and Keir taking my weight, I’d flop to the floor, unable to move.

  “We’re here,” Keir whispers.

  I manage to lift my head off Josh’s shoulder and look at my surroundings. There are huts and tents everywhere. I can’t help but notice that the whole area is surrounded by a high electric fence. People are walking around with guards. It’s like a high populated concentration camp. I didn’t even think such things exist anymore. What the fuck are we walking into?

  “What is this place?” I manage to ask.

  “Your worst nightmare,” Keir says bluntly.

  Josh looks down at me and I look back up at him. I know what’s being said, but I’m too far gone to make sense of anything. I can’t even worry for our lives or future.

  I’ll get back on my feet and find a way to get out of here. I will.

  I must get out of here.

  Chapter 3

  Present Day

  Clay

  I flop down at my desk and lean my head over my arm like a dead weight. Why did I drink so much last night? Urgh. I hope Chris is dying today, just like I am, with a herd of elephants stomping all over my brain. I hate hangovers from hell. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, because any little opportunity I have, I pick up a bottle to forget. One drink usually turns into a dozen. Like Chris said last night, it only takes the pain away at the time. The morning after, every ounce of pain and misery comes crashing back down ten times harder. Reality is a fucking bitch.

  “Okay, what’s going on with you and Chris? He looks like death as well,” says Caleb as he enters my office and sits down.

  It’s only when I look up that I see Caleb cradling his daughter. She’s wide awake, taking in everything around her. For a newborn baby, she’s so alert this morning. More than can be said for her uncle.

  “What’s going on? Why are you here with the baby? Where’s Aria?” I fire at Caleb.

  It will take us all a long time before we relax where Aria is concerned. The motherfucker that kidnapped her and knocked her up is behind bars, but I don’t trust anyone anymore, especially where her health and happiness are concerned. She will always be precious cargo… to all of us.

  “We’re letting Mommy get some well-needed sleep, aren’t we, princess?” Caleb smiles brightly at the baby in his arm. “This little Miss thought it would be good to be awake most of the night. So, I brought her out for some fresh air.”

  “I wish I looked so alert after being awake all night.”

  “You and me both, bro. So, stop stalling and tell me why you and Chris look like death warmed up. You, I get it. I’ve seen enough of your hungover ass over the years, but this isn’t like Chris. Start talking.”

  I want to laugh at my brother acting like my father, but I’m too delicate this morning. Caleb has grown up so much in just a year, I almost don’t recognize him. It’s amazing what a woman and a baby can do to you. It suits him though. This is exactly where his life is meant to be. Me, on the other hand, I can’t help but feel a tad jealous. I want everything he has. I would have laughed in the face of any man years ago if they said I would want the wife and kids lifestyle, but we all change. Life changes us.

  “It’s all my fault. I needed to let off steam, and Chris agreed to come with me. I guess we got a little carried away with the tequila shots. I think my depressive state drove him to it. Blame me.” I hold up my hands. My shoulders are big enough to carry the blame. I won’t lose any sleep over another lecture from Caleb.

  Caleb studies me closely and tilts his head. “Do you want to talk about anything?”

  I shake my head. “I’m good. Well, I will be when I get some greasy fast food inside me. When I’m ready to talk, I’ll let you know.”

  Caleb and I stare each other out. It’s his brotherly way of knowing if I’m telling the truth or not. And, as fucked up as I feel, I will speak to my brother when I’m ready.

  “Okay, if you’ve got
it all covered here, I’m going to get my daughter home.”

  I salute my brother and watch him carefully walk out of my office. Of course, he doesn’t get very far before everyone stops him for a peek at the baby. I don’t know what it is about a newborn that makes people go gaga; women’s ovaries combust, and men get broody.

  I wish I could flick a switch and have everything I’ve ever wanted right in front of me. I wish I was going home to Shay cooking dinner, bathing the kids, and settling down with a glass of wine before bed. I have it all figured out in my head. But I can’t turn back the clock. I can’t live in the past. I’ve got to find my happy place now, even if I don’t know what that is. I’m tired of feeling insecure and unhinged.

  ***

  I walk into my house after a long as fuck day. We’re quiet on the job front, which means my brothers and I can relax and watch our employees pull their weight sometimes.

  Caleb was with Aria and Sharlynn all day, and Chris was putting together a new fitness program for all our employees. They were both in their happy bubbles. I sat back and let the hours tick by. I guess that’s one perk of being the boss. I was able to wallow in self-pity at my hangover. I still feel delicate tonight. I must be getting old because hangovers now last all day. Alcohol is the devil in disguise, but it doesn’t stop me from drowning my sorrows when the going gets tough, and it’s been tough for a long time. I feel like I left one warzone and entered another at home. Only, it’s personal at home. It fucks with your head more.

  The alarm buzzes for the front gate, and I quickly pull up the camera footage on my cell. Sometimes, like tonight, this security system has its uses; I don’t even need to leave my house to answer the damn call. Using energy I don’t need to use would only piss me off further, and by the time I got to the gate, the visitor would face my wrath, no matter who it was.

  “Hello.” I speak through the intercom.

  “Clay? It’s Carrick. Do you have a minute?”

  Carrick. Shay’s brother is sitting at my gate. I pull myself together and look at the vehicle sitting there. This was the best security that Caleb installed at the compound. It lets us live in an environment that’s safe, not just for us, but for every one of our clients that walk through our gates. It’s just a pity we can’t keep our loved ones safe on the outside. The world we live in now is evil. Pure evil.