Shawland Security: Book 2 (Shawaland Security) Page 3

  “Come on in, bud.” I sigh and buzz him in.

  This is the last thing I want to do tonight, but if I can’t help myself with my own grief, the least I can do is help someone else with theirs.

  I open my front door just as Carrick’s car pulls up. I lean against the door frame and fold my arms across my chest. I brace myself for what tonight is about to bring. I don’t think I can deal with any more bad news. I’ve had more than my fair share lately.

  “Hey, man. Thanks for seeing me at such short notice.” He walks up my steps and holds his hand out to me.

  I accept his hand and pat his back. “My door is always open. Come on in.”

  I walk through to my kitchen and grab two bottles of beer from my fridge. Beer is probably the last thing my stomach wants tonight, but I think I’m going to need it after what Carrick tells me he wants.

  I hand a bottle to Carrick and sit down at the breakfast bar. He remains standing, and it’s only now that I’m seeing how tired and rundown he looks. Granted, I haven’t seen him in such a long time, but he was always primed and looking well. Shay used to tease him that he was model material. I can’t say that tonight. He looks like he hasn’t slept in months. The disheveled look doesn’t suit him. Shay would hate to see him wasting away. She would hate to see any of us moping around the place. She would be the first to tell us all to get a grip if she was here.

  “Give your heads a shake, guys.” I can hear her saying it.

  “So, what brings you out here tonight?” I take a sip of the beer and start picking off the label. Even the smell and slight taste are turning my stomach.

  “I need to find her, Clay, and I think you’re the only one who can, or rather, will help me.”

  Find her. She’s been missing for months.

  “You do realize what you’re saying, right? I want to find her as much as you do, but I honestly don’t know what we could do. The army did all they can. There is nothing a normal civilian can do, not out there in Iraq. It’s a warzone, man. And I am only a normal civilian now.”

  “She’s not dead, Clay. I know I sound like a grieving brother, but I can feel it in here.” He thumps his chest, agitated. “She’s not dead. I’d know if she was.”

  I don’t want to agree with him, yet I have this strange feeling tangled up in my gut that Shay is alive too. But when you hear the same thing so many times, you doubt your own thoughts and feelings. I’m done with the army. I have no contacts left I can reach out to. There’s nothing I can do. If they haven’t found Shay, dead or alive, we have very little chance of finding her.

  “We’d only be fighting a losing battle, Carrick. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but there is nothing we can do here. I won’t lie to you and give you false hope.”

  I hated hearing those words come from my mouth. I help everyone. I never say there’s nothing we can do, but here I am, defeated.

  “Then we go to Iraq,” Carrick blurts out.

  “You’re not serious? That’s not an option, buddy. We wouldn’t even survive an hour.”

  “Damn right I’m serious, Clay. I’ll do anything for my sister. I thought you would too.”

  I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I will do anything for Shay. I told her many times that I’d walk over hot coals for her. Yet, when it comes down to the crunch, I’m giving up.

  “Clay, we need to get her back to base. We’re losing her,” Shay shouts over the chopper’s engine.

  I take the limp child from Shay’s arms and run over to the helicopter. I lie her down on the stretcher and we all pile into the aircraft. I watch Shay working, hooking the child up to machines and fluids. She’s a great medic. One of the best I’ve ever come across. If my life was on the line, she would be the one I’d want fighting to save me.

  “I didn’t think we would get out of that raid today.” She shakes her head. “They told me no help would get through to us.”

  When the call came in to base that Shay had gotten into trouble while out collecting supplies, I knew I was coming for her. I knew I’d do anything to keep her safe.

  “I’ll always come for you, short stuff.” I squeeze her shoulder and sit on my heels. “Can I do anything to help?”

  “We’ll lose her if we don’t get her back for surgery. She’s bleeding internally.”

  “We’re ten minutes out. There’s a full team on standby. Don’t worry, we’ll save her.”

  “My hero.” Shay leans forward and kisses my cheek.

  I’ll always be her hero.

  I open my eyes and Carrick is leaning over the breakfast bar, trying to get my attention.

  “What happened? You spaced out on me.”

  I feel my cheek where Shay kissed me in my memory. It’s only a memory I have, but it’s weird, because whenever I think about her, it feels real. It feels like she’s here with me, and the pain of not having her here is too much.

  “I was her hero and I let her down.” I stand up and bang the bottle down on the work surface. “But what you’re asking is not even possible. We cannot go to Iraq.” I turn and face Carrick. “We won’t even get into the country.”

  I hold on to the worktop to keep myself standing. To stop me from losing my shit. I need to keep my hands occupied, because right now, I feel like punching the fuck out of something.

  “Well, let me hear your suggestion, Clay. I’m all in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get my parents the closure they need. You must have some ideas.”

  I sigh. I’m a sucker for a damsel in distress. I want to help, and it’s even harder because Shay is mine. She always was mine. Shay’s family is my family. I feel terrible that I haven’t visited her parents, but it’s just too hard. I’ve spoken with them on the phone, sent many emails back and forth, and I’ll offer them any financial support they ever need. I’ll be there for them… anytime. The only thing Shay and I didn’t do was make it official and get married, but that doesn’t stop me feeling responsible for her family.

  I sigh. “Let me make some calls in the morning. I’m not promising anything, but I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate your help, Clay. I really do. I just can’t let this go until I know for sure. I know I’m being impulsive and irrational, but I just can’t help it. You know what I mean?”

  I nod. I know what he means because the unknown is the worst part of this whole ordeal. Its soul-destroying. “Don’t thank me yet, I haven’t done anything. Let’s just see what tomorrow brings.”

  “Okay. That’s all I can ask of you, bud.” Carrick takes a large drink from his bottle. “Do you know of any decent hotels I can stay in tonight? I don’t want to face the two-hour drive back to my parents’ tonight.”

  “I do happen to know of somewhere. It’s not a hotel, but it’s clean and very local. You won’t have to travel far, and you can stay as long as you need.” I push off the worktop. “My spare bedroom is all yours for as long as you need it.”

  “Really? You don’t mind?”

  “Nah, I can use the company. Come on. I’ll show you where it is.”

  Walking through my house, I feel like the weight of the universe is on my shoulders… again. I know I need to do something to try and get answers about Shay and her commander, Josh, but I’m out of my depth. Working in the army is one thing, but trying to get the army to do something they don’t want to do is another. It’s all about money and politics nowadays. They don’t care how many soldiers are out there missing in action.

  Only time will tell if I have what it takes to do anything to help Carrick. I just wish everyone didn’t have such high hopes about my abilities. I’m only human. I wish I didn’t have a heart of gold, because then it wouldn’t be so difficult to say no.

  Chapter 4

  6 months earlier

  Shay

  I wake up, blinking rapidly, trying to clear the fog that looms over me. I can remember the forest incident, following those guys, seeing the compound we were brought to, but nothing after that. I try to sit up, but my whole body feels heavy. I don’t feel that excruciating pain, but right now, that isn’t very reassuring. Anything could have happened to me in the time I’ve been out of it.

  “Hi, sleepyhead.”

  I look over to where the voice is coming from and see Keir. He’s sitting at a desk, writing on some file. I try to clear my throat and sit up, but none of that is possible. I feel like my body isn’t my own. Every limb is protesting.

  “Where am I?” I ask croakily. “Where’s Josh?”

  “You’re in the medical wing. I’ve been looking after you. Josh is around. He didn’t need much medical care when we arrived here. Not like you.”

  “Not like me. What did you do? And don’t bullshit me, I’m a trauma medic, if I haven’t already told you.”

  He nods, stands, and walks away from the desk. “You have told me, several times.” He smiles warmly at me. “Your legs were pretty badly burned by the explosion. I’ve managed to remove a lot of the dead tissue, which will allow new tissue to grow and heal. I already see a difference. Maybe, in time, a proper plastic surgeon will be able to help. I did what I could to save your life, Shay.”

  Without even blinking, I feel tears roll down my cheeks. I’m going to be disfigured for the rest of my life. This is all my own fault for staying in the army. I should have gone home when my time was served. Now who’s the fucking hero? What do I have to show for my heroics? Disfigurement, no boyfriend, and nothing to fall back on.

  I clear my throat. “And Josh?”

  “He has a few cracked ribs. I bandaged him up and gave him some breathing exercises to do. He’s lucky his ribs didn’t break and puncture his lungs while carrying you around.”

  It all suddenly hits me how much I owe Josh. I owe him my life. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have gotten off that battlefield. I’d be pushing up the daisies instead.

  “When can I get transferred home?”

  Keir shuffles from foot to foot uneasily. “I’m afraid that won’t happen, Shay. Please believe me when I say I wish I could have left you to die out there, but my medical degree wouldn’t allow me to. I help people in need. I couldn’t let those soldiers kill you.”

  He isn’t making any sense. Why can’t I be transferred home? What is this place?

  “This camp, it’s despicable. It’s beyond your worst nightmares. You’ll see some sights here. Some that go against what we believe in, but if you agree to help them, they’ll let you live.”

  “Help them? Help them how? It’s not like I’m well enough to do anything. I can hardly lift my head up without the room spinning.”

  “Yet. You’re not well enough, yet. But, with my help, you will be. They need more medics here. I need more help to save these women and babies. There are too many for one doctor, Shay.”

  “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like what’s coming next?”

  He shakes his head. “It’s not pretty. This camp has gone unnoticed for many years. It’s hiding a human trafficking ring. Girls of all ages are brought here. They’re here to be sold to the highest bidder. They’re here to breed. Babies get sold to childless couples on the black market.”

  “Are you being serious? How did you end up here?”

  “The same way you did. They found me, wounded and barely conscious. I’ve been here for three years. I have no way out. I’ve tried. How can you leave somewhere with no passport or money? They provide me with my meals and essentials, that’s it. This compound is made up of soldiers. They’re ruthless. They will put a bullet between your eyes, no matter who you are.” He shakes his head at the thought. “I’ve prayed that someone comes and helps us get out of here, but with the people running this place, it’s highly unlikely.”

  “Where is Josh?”

  “I think he’ll be getting trained to be one of their soldiers. At first, he’ll only be allowed around the compound. He’ll have to earn their respect. Again, a process that is long and cruel.”

  The thought of Josh being tortured to help them is enough to turn my stomach. He’s a damn good soldier. It will take death to break him, to get him to work for the other side. He won’t go against what he believes in.

  “And he knows all of this? He knows what he has to do?”

  Keir nods. “I told him when I was dressing his wounds. He’ll do all he can to find a way out of this mess for you. He told me he made a promise to get you out of here alive.”

  The stupid man will end up getting himself killed to get me out of here. I growl out my frustration and throw my head back against the pillow. I shouldn’t have done that because the harsh movement makes my head pound.

  “Now what? What do I do now?”

  “You relax. You get better. I’ve told them you’re a medic and you’ll be placed in my care. When you’re well enough, I’ll show you the ropes, or you can show me your skills. Whatever. I don’t know. I’m hoping that the army doesn’t give up on you and your boss, and one day they’ll come looking for you.”

  I laugh. “You clearly don’t know the army. The only people who would fight for me are here or at home.” I shrug weakly. “I think you need to keep looking for a way out of here, Keir.”

  And as much as it kills me to say that, it kills me more to think about my family believing I’m dead or lost forever. Why did I have to give so much time to a job that has taken so much from my life? I’ve lost everything, and what for? To say that I’ve served nine extra years in the U.S. Army. Yeah, now who cares? I’m stuck in this Adolf Hitler-type camp, and I’m yet to see or hear how bad things are out there.

  I need to close my eyes because they feel so heavy. Everything will still be here when I wake up again. I doubt anything will change any time soon.

  Chapter 5

  Clay

  I had to go for a run at the butt crack of dawn because sleep wasn’t coming easy. After my chat with Carrick last night, I was running every scenario through my head. We’re trying to find a needle in a haystack, and I can’t see us ever finding Shay… dead or alive.

  I tossed and turned, kicked the sheets off the bed, and I stomped through my bedroom and dressed for a run. The more I tossed and turned, the more pissed off and agitated I was becoming.

  A run always settles me, or so I thought. I’ve pounded through the streets, sweat pouring from my brow, thoughts and memories bouncing around until I stopped at the bakery out of habit. Aria loved these bagels and muffins while she was pregnant. I can’t help but stop by and get breakfast. Aria and Caleb are facing parenthood for the first time, and I’ll do anything to help make things easier for them. It helps take my mind off my own problems when I’m helping others.

  I use my key to open Caleb’s house door. Everything is so quiet and still. A soft glow is coming from the living room and I see him lazing on the couch with his daughter kicking away in his arms.

  “Hey.” I hold up the bags. “I brought breakfast. I didn’t think you guys would be up yet.”

  Caleb laughs. “I’ve just taken over from Aria. This little monster doesn’t seem to like her new sleeping arrangements. I’m getting ready to go and buy one of those little glass cribs she slept in at hospital.”

  “Bad night, huh?” I put the bags down on the coffee table and take my niece from Caleb. “Hey, gorgeous girl. You should have come and kept me company. I’ve been awake all night too.”

  “Sharlynn has an excuse. This is all new to her, and she’s like a milk monster. But what’s got you up all night?”

  Caleb pulls a muffin from the bag and takes a bite. I sit down on the couch opposite him and rock Sharlynn in my arms. Holding a baby is soothing for the soul, or it is for me.

  “I have a house guest.”

  “Who? Don’t tell me it’s some random hook-up from a bar again. You better have washed your hands before you picked up my daughter.”

  I shake my head. “I’m done with pointless hook-ups. I told you that. No, this house guest was unannounced. Carrick, Shay’s brother.”

  Silence surrounds us. I keep watching Sharlynn as she slips in and out of sleep. Her carefree state is beautiful. If only we could all be as carefree as her.

  “And are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

  “He wants us to go to Iraq and find Shay.”

  Caleb laughs. I don’t. I wait until he stops, and he tilts his head to look at me. “You’re not serious, right?”

  “I’m deadly serious. I don’t joke about serious shit. And, for what it’s worth, I think we do need to do something.”

  Caleb jumps up from the couch and places the half-eaten muffin down on the coffee table. “Doing something is good but thinking of flying to Iraq is like a death wish. What good do you think is going to come of that? We’ll end up burying all of you!” Caleb whisper shouts, cautious of Sharlynn in my arms. “You won’t get anywhere near where Shay was blown up.”

  We should have had a baby in the family years ago; it would have saved me many ear bashings from my family. A few months ago, Caleb would have woken up the compound roaring at me like a banshee.

  “When Aria was in trouble, I stood by you. I did everything I possibly could, no questions asked. I’m not asking you all to follow me to wherever this mission takes Carrick and me, but I can’t sit around and do nothing.”

  “I agree. We can’t sit around and do nothing, but there have to be avenues we can go down before you fly your asses out to a fucking warzone. Open your eyes, Clay. Be practical.”

  “I’m going to make a few calls today. I won’t jump in feet first, but I need to help Carrick get some closure.”

  “Even if that means ending your own life in the process.”

  Silence surrounds us. I feel Caleb’s eyes burning holes through me. “We never lose,” I say smartly and stand up to hand Caleb the baby.